From the Idaho Archives:

The True Story Of Idaho

In the early days of California (ca; 1849), Dr Levi Strauss founded a clothing factory just west of what is now the UC Berkeley campus. Catering to the young miners (from whence we get the legal term "minor"), he created a line of tough, comfortable working clothes, called "blue jeans". These went over very well, but soon, foreign competetion, in the form of cheap French designer jeans, reared its ugly head, winning market share from the factory of the good Dr Strauss. In an attempt to maintain its own market share, Dr Strauss' designers came up with a variety of other styles of jeans, the most famous (or infamous) being the "bib overall". Upon seeing this monstrosity for the first time, Dr Strauss demanded of his Chief of Product Development "Where are we going to sell this disgusting piece of denim?" The chief's reply of "I dunno" was misinterpreted by Dr Strauss, who sent his best salesman (western district) to sell bib overalls in a place called "Idaho."

The salesman's name was Billybob Boise, and he set out in search of the fabled Idaho. He searched all through the west, but no one had heard of the place. In desparation, running out of money, winter setting in, and weighted down by several tons of bib overalls, Billybob built a cabin in the middle of a wild potato field. He soon made friends with the locals, who were fascinated with the bib overalls, and traded different varieties of cooked potatos and canned fish to acquire them. Demand was so great, in fact, that Billybob had to erect a temporary storage facility to house all the potatos and canned goods. Over the main entrance, he placed a sign with his last name, Boise, emblazoned in solid wood.

Soon, spring came, and Billybob knew it was time to return to California with his treasures of potatos and canned goods. Bidding a fond farewell to the friends he now called "Idahoers" he set out for Dr Strauss' with his new-found riches. Dr Strauss was understandably overjoyed at seeing what Billybob had brought back, the normal California diet of sushi, pesto, avocado, and white meat fast becoming a bit boring, and arrangements were made to set up a huge trading company in the land known as "Idaho". Billybob returned to Idaho in spring of the following year, in a wagon laden with mor bib overalls and a new kind of footwear known as 'clod hoppers', to trade for the valued potatos and canned goods. Unbeknownst to Billybob, however, in his absence, the greedy dentalfloss barons of Montana, led by the mightiest of flossers, Phineus the Irregular, had invaded the land known as Idaho, seized the warehouse labelled Boise, renamed the land "Spudsylvania" and set up a private army to control the expected thriving trade.

Met at the border by panicked refuges, Billybob knew his dreams of thriving trade were in grave danger. Calling upon his military training (he'd once had a set of toy soldiers as a child), he outfitted his friends in new bib overalls and clod hoppers, and began drilling them daily under the hot Spudsylvanian sun in the various military arts. When they were finally ready Billybob and his army of "red necks" as they were now called set out to confront the enemy, known as "Spud boys."

A series of inconclusive clashes followed, with the valiant red necks unable to inflict a decisive defeat on the better-trained spud boys. Finally, on Arbor Day, 1860, one of those most epic clashes in American history took place outside the old Boise warehouse. The red neck spies reported that the main spud boy army was sampling from a device (known as a "still" for its effect on human mobility) that Billybob had built in the warehouse to try store potatos in liquid form, and were curiously uncoordinated. Seeing his opportunity, Billybob immediately ordered an attack, and in the violence that ensued, the spuds were routed. The main army was split up, and half the forces returned to Montana in disgrace, while the other half was chased by angry red necks all the way across the Bering Straits, where they took their knowledge of liquid potatos. (Historians note: this explains why the natural animosity between rednecks and the drinkers of potato-mash exists to this day.)

The victorious red necks, resplendent in their new bib overalls and clod hoppers, built a city around what remained of the warehouse, naming after the only surviving structure, the sign emblazoned with a defiant "Boise." They re-renamed the area "Idaho" and to this day, grateful residents name their boys (and sometimes their girls) Billybob, in honor of Idaho's first hero and governor, Billybob Boise.

Now this is a true story. It was told to me by my father and if you call my father a liar, I shall have to ask you to step outside! The land known as "Idaho" is therefor not really Idaho, but an area of the same name, occupying the exact same area, which is no doubt where the confusion about its existence arose. For the more skeptical among you, I list at the end, several references.

  1. Encyclopedia Erratica, v 12, pp 392-412 "Idaho: Theory and Practice"

  2. The Good ol' Boys Monthly, Aug 1960, pp 20 - 48, "A Salute to Bib Overalls: 100 years and goin' Strong"

  3. A Brief History of Canned Goods, 1978, J B Bilgewater and Assoc

  4. Internal memo, June 6, 1984, "Emergency contingency plans LXI: A defense of the Idaho potato fields in the event of a second Montana takeover attempt" US French Fry Cook Assoc

  5. Excerpts from Woodrow Wilson's (first president to visit Idaho) speech of May 12, 1913, where he utters the now-famous "Ich bin ein Idahoer"