From: frank@nnrp.info.ucla.edu (Frank Fabbrocino)
Newsgroups: comp.lang.java.advocacy
Subject: ALERT TO ALL PARENTS!
Date: 23 Jul 1996 19:58:18 GMT
Organization: University of California, Los Angeles
Lines: 43
Message-ID: <4t3asq$qbq@uni.library.ucla.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: blastcap.cs.ucla.edu
Summary: ALERT TO ALL PARENTS!
Keywords: ALERT TO ALL PARENTS!
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                          ALERT TO ALL PARENTS!
        
WARNING TO PARENTS: If you have a child who is a  programmer or know anyone
who does,  regardless of  their  ages you should   read  this!  A  form  of
programming language,  called "Java" is  being exposed to young programmers
everywhere.     It   is  a   small, object-oriented,   platform-independent
multi-threaded,  dynamic, general-purpose, postage-stamp sized  programming
environment.  These young  programmers,   after having seen  countless  Web
pages with   Java animations of  jumping  Duke---a triangle shaped creature
with no eyes and a big red nose---are being led to believe that Java can be
used to build large-scale, mission critical applications!

The moisture and  oils in your brains  will react quickly with Java, SIMPLY
READING ABOUT IT is likely to make you think that Java is good for anything
more  than  Web   page  animations!  It   has  been   confirmed that   some
implementations of Java contain deadly amounts of HYPE, an even more potent
drug!  THERE HAVE BEEN SEVERAL DEATHS FROM JAVA  OVERDOSES, AND MORE DUE TO
THE HYPE.  JAVA is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND EXTREMELY ADDICTING. 

Symptoms to watch for include: hallucinations, grand  visions of Java, mood
swings, a false sense of  security and speed, uncontrolled laughter, images
of networks of Java machines, drop in  body temperature, visions of a world
without  Microsoft, dizziness, severely dilated  pupils  with a Duke  image
burnt into the retina, and frequent  vomiting.   Persons infected with Java
have been shown to react violently to the  phrases "Java is not secure"  or
"Java is too slow".

Up to an hour  can pass between contact with  Java and the beginning of the
Java "trip".  If you suspect that your young programmer has become a victim
of Java, you must take him or her immediately to  the hospital and call the
police. 

Java is usually  contracted through a  seemingly innocuous Web link, but it
has also been reported  to have been contracted  through the general press.
By far the Web link contraction method is the most common.  You are advised
to call the police immediately if you  find anyone suspicious talking about
the benefits of Java to young programmers. 

NOTE: Please feel free to reproduce this  article and spread it within your
community and work  place.   This danger  to our young  programmers must be
made known.   Distribute the warning as  wide  as you  can, this is growing
faster than we can warn parents and young programmers.