Mark Damon Hughes Topic: Personal [Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics] [about]
Cleaned the Feed
Mon, 2009May18 07:23:13 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

You'll notice my feed loads a LOT faster now. I had a ton of posts which were all leader (in RSS), no body (not in RSS), and was sending every post. So I cleaned the Augean stables, moved text around, and cut the feed to last 10 (so, 5 months?)

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9/11, Seven Years Later
Thu, 2008Sep11 16:35:07 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

All day Sep 11 2001, I was sitting in my tiny apartment, writing code (either Umbra, or the start of Hephaestus). I hadn't hit USENET or the web at all. Hadn't really eaten anything.


Late that afternoon I staggered outside, looking for food. And the streets were empty. All the stores and restaurants were closed. No idea why. Total zombie apocalypse scene.

Finally I found the Chinese restaurant I usually went to very late at night, still open, and went in. They were in there watching the news on a big-screen TV. I got some food.

All of us, mostly the staff and a couple other customers, sat there talking about it and watching the TV, all of us sort of dazed and confused and angry. Who would ever do that? Why? At the time, it was inconceivable that anyone would want to attack us; we were, with very rare exceptions, The Good Guys. Finally it dawned on us, and soon to the TV reporters, that the same people who'd tried to blow up the World Trade Center a decade before might've done it.

And we waited for something, any sign of intelligence or leadership from Bush. As we now know, there was none. He kept reading "The Pet Goat" for minutes while planes crashed into buildings. He eventually got Afghanistan right as one source of the attackers, but then committed fraud to make Iraq a target for his own personal reasons.

You never know what a big historical event means or will lead to until it's over, until you have at least a few years of perspective on it. What it showed was the malicious, venal incompetence of the Republican party. What it showed was that there's evil in America, too.

Today, the malicious, venal, incompetent governor of Alaska threatened war with Russia if they invade another country (never mind that in reality, Georgia began the war, and was committing genocide in Ossetia, and Russia was defending them). War. With Russia. The word "psychotic" doesn't begin to describe this. Why is this lunatic anywhere near the election?

We don't need external enemies to threaten us this 9/11, we have our own home-grown evil psychos.

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Twatting about on Twitter
Sun, 2008Mar23 17:20:30 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

I am now mdhughes on Twitter, twatting/tweeting/twooting/twittering away about technical stuff.

I'm still convinced it has a ludicrously bad infrastructure, thanks to Ruby's speed and memory problems, but to get SMS interaction, it's that or Facebook (bah), and I plan to use it at WWDC'08, when it will probably go down like a $10 tranny whore instead of actually working.

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RSS feed
Mon, 2007May28 19:27:24 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

Sorry about the barfed-up old posts in the feed. I changed my permalinks over to the new, human-typeable http://kuoi.com/~kamikaze/ URLs, so everything looks different to Bloglines and other feed readers.

A Man Walks Into a Bar With a Duck...
Mon, 2006May29 23:12:05 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

I was just at the grocery store, and there was a couple in line ahead of me with their pet duck. Cute little mallard named "Mr. Peepers". (Sadly, I did not have my phone on me, or I'd show you a photo!)


Everyone around is pretty impressed, including me. Peepers follows his mistress like a dog, and was very steady around humans.

Everyone's impressed except one woman, who starts getting all worked up: "But the sidewalk's dirty! You just let him walk around like that? He'll get fleas and ticks from all the dogs and cats! You can't keep a duck in the city!" After a bit more, the crazy woman goes away.

The ducks are pretty sane around here, but the people, whoo... They're fucking nuts.

s/Mark Hughes/Mark Damon Hughes/g
Sat, 2006May27 02:55:46 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

I've fought the good fight for years. My name was #1 and #2 on Google until late last year, as well it should be: I've been on the Web since 1993, telling you what I think without any bullshit, and publishing my little games, which have entertained a few thousand people, and that makes me pretty happy.


But then more crap about that dead evil multi-level marketing criminal scumbag from Herbalife took my top spots, as if anyone cares about dead con men. Pseudo-religious pseudo-medical quakery, taking advantage of gullible peoples' fears of mortality to sell them poisons. I have nothing but contempt.

There's also some cretin marketing scumbag with a book about "buzz", which is just a sleazy marketing term for astroturfing: producing fake testimonials from fake customers to flood out real people saying what they like or don't like. You cannot imagine how much I despise marketing people, and this guy's one of the lowest, most dishonest of a low, dishonest species. Bill Hicks hated lying marketing scum slightly less than I do, when he said: "KILL YOURSELVES".

Note the common theme here. Tell the truth or die, please. What's next, lawyers and politicians and used car salesmen with my name?

I can't really complain about the British football soccer hooligan coach. At least he's playing a game, not just sitting on his arse watching it, and seems to be an okay bloke. But still, it's hard to find stuff about me with the media about him.

There's some others. Some other guy in Seattle with my name programs on .NET. Ugh. No, really, UGH. How nauseating. Never met the guy, but... UGH.

Of course, Michael Bolton (no relation) in Office Space had the ideologically right idea:

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right.
  It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about
  12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and
  started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

However, I am not as stubborn, not as dedicated to principle, as Michael Bolton (no relation). These no-talent ass clowns have, at long last, chased me off my shorter name.

So, effective immediately, I'm using my full name everywhere, as it seems to be unique on all search engines. If you have a link to me, please update it to "Mark Damon Hughes". I don't expect this to happen universally anytime soon, but at least I can make linking to me in the future easier.

← Previous: O'Reilly(TM) 2.0(TM) Annoyances(TM) (Software) Next: A Man Walks Into a Bar With a Duck... (Personal) →
About This Blog
Fri, 2006May19 17:17:48 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

In answer to a couple questions I've had in email:


Anything posted on my blog is just my opinion on media, toys, or whatever, or announcements about my software. I'm just some guy. I think I'm pretty smart and well-educated about technology, media, science fiction, politics, and gaming, and not particularly interested in much else. But if you're taking my pronouncements as The Official Word Of God On All Matters, you're reading too much into it.

What isn't posted:

  • I don't post about work. No trade secrets, no office gossip. You don't even know where I work, and I'm not going to tell you.
  • I don't post about specific people, unless they go out of their way to become the news (i.e., it's okay to stalk celebrities, even if they're just famous on the web).
  • I don't post much about my private life. This is the public blog, and you really don't need to know who I'm dating.
  • I don't bullshit you. You get what I'm thinking, and if you don't like it, you know how to unsubscribe.

If you're wondering, yes, sometimes I'm drunk when I post. I try to edit those later. Sometimes I don't bother; in uisge veritas.

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What's wrong with the Internet?
Sun, 2006Jan15 02:12:28 PST
in Personal by kamikaze

These are the most glaringly weird or ironic searches that have hit my site recently. I suppose a few dozen freaks out of thousands of sane searchs is okay, but... No, who am I kidding, this is just weird:


  • ace or delusional parasitic
  • anime where they reload their guns with their breasts
    (Okay, I know what this is talking about... But still, WTF?)
  • bird personality based on birthday
    (Who has time to remember their bird's birthday?)
  • chimps matingcinis rpg -elementi -pulvisque -rpg chat -hic
    (Chimps mating? RPG but not RPG chat? WTF?)
  • clear liquid with red specks that burns to a grey metallic metal
  • cross dressing and role playing as a sexual fantasy
    (Not so much of the cross-dressing in my RPGs...)
  • description of different type of fetishes: /~kamikaze/DUDE/Hack.html
    (You're gonna get a hell of a fetish from that...)
  • differentiate geocentric theory and heliocentric with its meaning
  • free online adventure sex games
  • free online adventure teen drama games
    (At least it wasn't teen sex games...)
  • free online dragon role playing games where u can make your own dragon and play the role playing game with him
  • free online sex role playing games
  • free role playing games teenage girl
  • girl hot rpg game roleplay
    (Yeah, those elf chicks are totally hot. If they weren't fictional, I'd do 'em.)
  • how did mark hughes die
    (Rumors of my demise have been slightly exaggerated. I'm just really tired.)
  • how to seduce your sister
    (You! Get off my goddamn web site right now!)
  • how to make ninja poisons
  • i havent seen my friend for ages jane hughes i have not seen my friend jane hughes liverpool for ages
    (And I'm sure this is best possible place to start.)
  • killer pussy maneater
    (I... really hope that's about tigers or something.)
  • lawnmower pulling game
    (No game's gonna make that fun.)
  • list of odorless tasteless liquid poison causing heart attack
  • mail to mail sex wab sights: /~kamikaze/RPG/wrong_adnd.php
    (More like chain mail to banded mail!)
  • mark is stupid
    (Your wife is ugly.)
  • merchant fat rich or rich fat or fat and rich or rich and fat
    (That should pretty much cover it...)
  • play a online rpg with like warrior and bow and magic
    (And they shoot guns PEWPEWPEW!!!)
  • quickest acting poison
  • reed is a grotesquely ugly podiatrist who drinks a poison to commit suicide
    (Poor Reed. He's just misunderstood.)
  • renouncing science: /~kamikaze/Cyberpunk/Text.php
  • seduce sister
    (I told you to get the hell out, sisterfucker!)
  • short free indian exotic story: /~kamikaze/Text/beginning_cli.html
  • sodium benzoate enlist the functions
  • sorority role playing games
  • transportation trucking sherry hughes fucking
  • truth and technology dog pissing
  • underworld kill all the monsters painkillers
  • usually nude in front of my dad
  • what are explosives
Fluorescent Lights
Thu, 2006Jan12 14:42:09 PST
in Personal by kamikaze

Like many developers, I'm bothered by fluorescent lights (see also LordOfTheFlies). They flicker and throb and cause me a horrible headache. About half the people in my office hate them, the other half don't have fast enough vision to see the flicker.

My theory about fluorescents is that people who grew up with modern "crisp" TVs (no blurring between frames) and videogames have the high-speed optic nerves needed to see the flicker, while people who didn't, don't. This is based on seeing older people and foreign workers almost never have a problem with the lights, but American geeks in their 20s-30s almost always do.

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Help Buy KUOI Mugs!
Fri, 2005Oct21 09:49:16 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

If you're a fan of KUOI-FM Moscow, KUOI needs help to buy mugs. For your generous donation, you get a mug and help keep KUOI product on the (virtual) shelves!

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Indiana Has Taught Me How To Hate
Sun, 2005Aug21 09:40:22 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

I'm in Indiana for GenCon. The con is okay, and as long as I stay in the air-conditioned con center and skywalk mall, I'm content enough.


But the air outside is The Evil. It's 90+°, humid like a sauna, and smells of sewage, moldy socks, and rotting corpses. Even fouler-smelling steam escapes from cracks in the pavement at night, proving that Indianapolis is Hell itself.

The natives are subhuman degenerates, hybrids of inbreeding and monstrous alien DNA. Rather than the "Deep Ones" of H.P. Lovecraft, I call them the "Shallow Ones".

This place should be razed to the ground, the inhabitants shot dead as they run screaming from the ruins, and the ground salted with radioactive dust so noone will ever build on this accursed place again.

← Previous: Single People Are Selfish, And Proud Of It (Society) Next: Back from GenCon (Roleplaying) →
Syndication
Sat, 2005Jan22 00:00:00 PST
in Personal by kamikaze

So I've finally spared the time to publish the site in RSS 2.0. Let me know if you have any problems with it, but it autodiscovers in Liferea, and it validates: Valid RSS feed..


What I've taken away from learning to do this:

  • The specs are barely tolerable; I had to study working examples and used an IBM-published tutorial to get it right.
  • Feed auto-discovery is pure fucking magic, it is not documented at all. It ought to be IN THE GODDAMN SPEC. As best I can tell, I have to use application/rss+xml in the header link on my web page, but text/xml content-type on the RSS itself to make it work in many readers. This is nuts.

And please, don't hammer the server with hourly updates. I will never post more than a couple items in a day. One daily update will be enough. [Updated: added ttl to the feed, so it should be enforced by your reader. Thanks Lars.]

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Treo 600 Cam
Sun, 2004Aug29 00:00:00 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

I've started posting pictures taken with my Treo 600 camera here.


The camera is a cruel joke, but I love how easy it is to just whip out and shoot. I never have my 3.3MPx digicam with me unless I'm going to a party or something, so I've never done much photography, and it's usually just for my own album. Also, I really don't like being photographed by anyone but friends or family (for values of "don't like" in the Sean Penn range), so I try to give others the same respect.

Yes, the first batch is terrible. I knew nothing about changing the camera's quality settings or how to light them, so they're there as a "before" series. I'm going to take some tips from this guy and try to do better.

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I have a simple question for all people in denial about human diet and "animal cruelty", whether they be vegetarians, vegans, fruitarians, or breatharians.


A lion tears out the throat of a gazelle and waits for it to bleed to death, its hooves scrabbling at the ground as it tries to stay upright, before it finally collapses. The pride comes and eats the meat, until a pack of hyenas show up to gnaw the bones. When they're gone, birds and insects and bacteria take their turn.

Do you think this is moral? If yes, why do you object to omnivorous primates eating their natural prey, and doing so in a way that guarantees everyone can be fed? If no, why are you not out trying to convince lions to become herbivores?

Take your time and think about it. And how good a steak would taste after a hard day's work.

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Final Fantasy XI
Fri, 2004Jun04 00:00:00 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

Yeah, I have no resistance. Say "hi" if you're in the area.

Name: Darkkane
Race: Galka
Job: Thief
World: Quetzalcoatl
Nation: Windurst

I started playing last night with the PS2 version. Okay, after shelling out for FFXI/HDD, a USB keyboard, a USB trackball (optional, but I recommend it), a router, and some cabling, I've spent entirely too much for one game (um, $200+), and they'll be getting my money in future months. OTOH, it's still cheaper than buying FFXI-PC, Windoze, a second HD, and a gamer's video card for my Linux server (which is like unto a tiny god, but it ain't for playing games). People routinely spend more than this upgrading their systems to run a new game.

The interface is usable with just a controller and keyboard, but a mouse helps a lot for quickly selecting targets and menu items. I wouldn't suggest trying to play it with a modem; get cablemodem or DSL. Even with cablemodem, it's not always fast. The graphics seem fine. Names aren't readable until you're fairly close, but having seen the PC version, it's no better there. The menus do take up a bit more screen space than I'd like, and the behavior of the vanishing chat window before you change the options is just horrible.

All that said, it works remarkably well. I spent a couple hours playing with a friend who uses the PC version, with no problems. In that time, I went from level 1 to level 4, and was able to start fighting something besides bugs and frogs and bunnies. I'm sure the level grind slows down a lot later, but for getting in, playing, and getting out, you can't beat that.

The world is beautiful. It looks like any other Final Fantasy game, but with control over the camera and no whiny morrisey-like protagonist. Haven't really got into the storyline yet, but it's not just a kill-things-and-take-their-stuff game.

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Reboot
Wed, 2003Jul30 00:00:00 PDT
in Personal by kamikaze

On its 10th anniversary, I have destroyed my old site, and created it anew.


Let's face it, my site was getting old. I started it in August 1993, and basically just dumped files wherever I liked. Later I wised up to the idea of directories and dynamic content, but by then there was a lot of traffic--there wasn't much I could do about the old stuff.

Well, I'm sick of it. Sick of using huge dangerous sed scripts to fix style problems, sick of no two pages doing the same thing the same way.

Plus, it was ugly. No fix could make it unugly, because what I wanted to do wasn't possible with the technology I had. Thus, this site.

Anyway, feel free to let me know what you think of all this, and please report any problems.

Thanks.

Next: Review of Gamma World (Sword & Sorcery) (Roleplaying) →
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